


sensuality at sundown

by dodecahedrons



Category: Homestuck, Invader Zim, South Park
Genre: Cherub Sex (Homestuck), Dicks, M/M, Mpreg, Suicide, alien x human content, body fat resonating at perfectly harmonic notes, divorce court, language barriers, snatched wigs all around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 19:10:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20102209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dodecahedrons/pseuds/dodecahedrons
Summary: Caliborn and Cartman have been lovers for a long time, but recently a certain Irken has caught the Cherub's eye. Will he fess up to his present lover that he has the hots for another man, or will he leave his pregnant fiance in the dark as he rendezvous with the invader at places unspeakable?





	sensuality at sundown

Zim and Caliborn stood on opposite sides of the bed. They were preparing to fight. The weapons weren’t made of steel, though they were still painfully hard.

Yes. They were going to fight with their cocks.

“Zim. Your spacepants. Take them off,” Caliborn growled hungrily, staring at the bulge-less crotch of the Irken invader. Zim blinked.

He didn’t speak cherub.

“Sorry, I don’t speak cherub,” Zim responded, stating that he doesnt speak cherub. The cherub rolled his eyes.

“Bitch howd you know I was a cherub,” he cherubed.

“Im an irken, stupid. I know all aliens,” Zim irkened. The cherub was even more aroused. His boner broke out of his cherub pants. Zim looked disgusted.

“What? Dont like my sexy cherub cock?” caliborn caliborned. Zim shook his head, fear in his eyes.

“I dont know what a cock is.”

“Zimothy we are literally about to have sex and youre telling me you dont know what a penis is?”   


Zim felt his zussy (zim pussy) dry up at the idea of a cock.

“Im calling my lawyer. I dont like this. Im calling the fucking police. Where the fuck is your parents. Im calling child protective service”s.

“I’m thirty seven years old.”

“Did i ask?”

There was a knock on the door. Before the zim or the cherub coukld respind, a hooel was punched thriough the door with such great force that shards of wood flewew everywhere. Caliborn ripped Zim’s shirt off to cover his cock, revealing that Zim was wearing another shirt right below it. 

Cartman cartmanned into the room, his gelatenous form blubbering as he waddled. “Caliborn I fcant fucking believe this. Im at the end of my rope.”

“Cartman, youre not supposed to be ehre-----” Caliborn cried. He was actually crying. Like immediately. 

“Bitch dont cry,” Cartman blubbed. “Dont be a hoe”

“Sorry, you got wood in my eye,” Caliborn sobed. 

“Whats all this about?” Zim irkened. 

“THIS MAN IS THE FATHER OF MY BABY,” cartman bellowed, his layers of fat resonating at a perfect A flat. This would habe burst zims ear drums if he ahd ears. But he didnt. So its ok.

“ZIM HES FUCKING LYING,” caliborn sobbed. At this point, zim was packxing his belongings. He was done. This was the alst time he wwenret to sleep with a man he met on grindr.

“I cant believe this. You fucking doochebag, im going to call my divorce lawyer and im going to get all your belongings. Im going to get all your gold teerth. Im going to eat your whiole ass in court.” zim angeried

“Um.” Cartman ummed.

“Is that not a human saying.” Zim zimmed.

“Leave my fucking apartment.” caliborn demanded, stomping his pegleg on the floor. This was met with a banging on the floor from below.

“IF YOU SLAP YOUR STUPID ALIEN DICK ON THE GROUDN ONE MORE FUCKING TIME IM CALLING THE FRONT DESK AND ASKING THEM TO REMOVE YOU FROM THE PREMESIS THIS IS THE HOLIDAY INN NOT THE CRACK MOTEL DOWN THE STREAT YOU FUCKING FREAK”

Everyone was quiet.

Everyone. Except cartmans fat, that had started resonating at A sharp now. 

“Im going to see you in court you crusty buttplug,” Zim splurted out before whip naenaeing out of the hotel room and shitting on his front door. 

Cartman looked at Caliborn. “Scerew you guys im goin g home” he jello-ed, wigglign his way toward the window and flopping out. He didnt die tho because his fat served as a cushion. And it was only a 2 floor drop.

Caliborn was a lone. He turned into a sex snake and ate his own tail until he blinked out of existence, and cartman and zim showed up to court the next month to sue him. Bnut he did not show up. So cartman and zim decided to desecrate his grave and steal his teeth. The end.

**Author's Note:**

> this is not serious and if you think it is im sorry


End file.
